Psychologist Barbara Frederickson at the University of North Carolina observed how inducing positive emotions in people following a negative experience loosens the vice grip that the negative event holds psychologically. She also found that people bounced back faster physiologically — their cardiovascular activity slowed. When we landed in Chicago I stood up and turned to look at the mother and her child. She smiled a little nervously at me and started to apologize for her daughter’s crying. I stopped her. I pulled my wallet out of my pocket, opened it, and handed it to her. I pointed to the picture of my two little red-headed daughters. I said, “These are my little girls. They’re wonderful. And they cry too. Your daughter is beautiful. Congratulations.” She smiled and said thank you. I smiled and left the plane feeling good (something I wouldn’t have thought possible after the crying began). So the next time a situation seems to be a frustrating dead-end, ask yourself, “What’s my fork?” There’s almost always another road you can take. ______________________ AddThis Sharing ButtonsShare to FacebookFacebookFacebookShare to TwitterTwitterTwitterShare to EmailEmailEmailShare to RedditRedditRedditShare to MoreAddThisMoreDavid Pollay has advice for anyone in need of rescue from a situation that is so distracting or irritating that you can’t think of anything else. Try this, and see if it works… The plane was full. My seat was 22C. To my surprise there was no one beside me and no one behind me. I felt like I had won the lottery of seating charts. You know the feeling. You can spread out. You can recline without bothering anyone. You can even use two tray tables! I was flying to Chicago to run a workshop. I needed to concentrate on editing my presentation. The peace and quiet would be great. The flight attendants were getting ready to close the doors when I started working. And then it happened. I heard a flight attendant say, “You’re in 23C.” And just as I looked up I heard the increasingly loud sound of a baby crying. An upset baby girl and her mother were coming my way. Right behind me was the seat 23C. Five minutes later the baby’s cry turned into a wail and her little legs were kicking my seat. I couldn’t work with such distraction. There were no answers to my questions: “Why does the little girl have to kick my seat? Isn’t there a way to stop the baby from crying? And why of all places on the plane do they have to sit right behind me!?” I started searching for what I could say, or what I should do. There was nowhere for me to go. When Your Road Turns Negative Create a Fork in the Path Then I smiled. I realized I actually had a choice. I could either see the situation as a dead-end negative, or I could see the situation in another way. I could find another road out and take it. And I did. In that moment I found another way to look at the situation. I now call it “my fork.” I thought of my own children. I started laughing thinking that Eliana, 4, and Ariela, 3, had done their share of crying and seat kicking in airplanes, as hard as we tried to stop it! So I turned the baby’s crying and seat-kicking into a reminder that I have two wonderful little girls of my own. Each time the little girl cried or kicked my seat, I felt grateful for my two girls. Sure I would have preferred the flight to be quieter, but guess what? I was able to work because I became quieter inside. I replaced the negative emotion I was feeling with gratitude for my own children. David J. Pollay is an internationally sought-after speaker and teacher, a syndicated columnist, and is the founder and president of The Momentum Project. Mr. Pollay holds a Master’s Degree in Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, and an Economics Degree from Yale University. E-mail him your thoughts and stories at [email protected] AddThis Sharing ButtonsShare to FacebookFacebookFacebookShare to TwitterTwitterTwitterShare to EmailEmailEmailShare to RedditRedditRedditShare to MoreAddThisMore
The shocking scale of bullying and sexual harassment across the global legal profession is exposed in a landmark survey conducted by the International Bar Association. Half of all women lawyers have been bullied at work and one in three has been sexually harassed. One in three male lawyers reports having been bullied, while one in 15 has been sexually harassed. These are among the preliminary findings of an International Bar Association survey on bullying and sexual harassment in the profession, which closes on 26 October. The survey has already received responses from more than 5,000 lawyers from 120 jurisdictions. Some 25% of all lawyers have been sexually harassed, 36% of whom have experienced harassment in the last year. Yet in four out of five cases the harassment was never reported, for reasons including fear of career damage and reprisals. Some 43% of respondents have been bullied, but this was not reported in 57% of all cases, with similar reasons given. Where harassment and bullying were reported, legal employers proved generally inept in dealing with it. In around two-thirds of cases the response was ‘insufficient or negligible’, and in three-quarters of cases the perpetrator was not sanctioned. In 62% of cases, bullying conduct contributed to the victim leaving or intending to leave the workplace. For harassment, the equivalent figure was 36%. The findings are likely to galvanise efforts to improve the profession’s handling of bullying and sexual harassment cases amid the ‘MeToo’ campaign. Earlier this year a former magic circle employee who claimed to have been sexually assaulted at work by a partner at the firm told MPs that law firms should be required to have sexual harassment and alcohol consumption policies.The suggestion was part of an anonymised written submission made by a member of the public to the House of Commons women and equalities select committee as part of its sexual harassment in the workplace inquiry.The IBA’s survey findings were disclosed at a session on harassment and bullying at the IBA’s Rome conference. Speakers included Zelda Perkins, Harvey Weinstein’s former assistant, who addressed the same commons committee.
The Super Eagles of Nigeria are scheduled to visit President Muhammadu Buhari on Wednesday ahead of their trip to London for the international friendly clash with the Three Lions of England on June 2.According to top Nigeria Football Federation (NFF) officials, the team will visit the Federal Executive Council Chamber at 10am ahead of the council’s normal Wednesday meeting before embarking on their London trip.Minister of Youth and Sports, Solomon Dalung, will introduce the Super Eagles players and officials to President Buhari before they receive his final blessing for this summer’s FIFA World Cup tournament in Russia.RelatedSuper Eagles Players Visit President Buhari (Photo)May 31, 2018In “National Team”Eagles To Use Liverpool UCL Jet For London Trip Ahead Of England FriendlyMay 30, 2018In “England”INSIDE AFCON 2019: Dangote, Otedola, Others Promise Super Eagles Monetary GiftsJuly 11, 2019In “AFCON”